A Time When I Needed To Be Brave

“When their adventures do not succeed, however, they run away; but it was the mark of a brave man to face things that are, and seem, terrible for a man, because it is noble to do so and disgraceful not to do so (Aristotle).” http://thinkexist.com/quotation/when_their_adventures_do_not_succeed-however-they/147185.html

As I heard the last bell of the day ringing loudly, I quickly walked past my classmates through the hallway so that I could walk to the bus stop with my sister to get home. The halls still smelled faintly of lunch and perfume and cologne of the people as I walked by. I walked through the gray and green courtyard now full with eager students waiting to go home. I waited next to the fully blossom tree, that smelled like seafood or the Pacific Ocean near San Francisco, with the sun pouring down on my body. As I looked for my sister I could hear in the background the faint sounds of conversations, laughs, and goodbyes of friends. My friend walked up to me and said, “Where’s Mary?” In a frustrated tone I said “I honestly don’t know.”

As we waited for a few more minutes we both grew more frustrated and were worried about missing the bus. We discussed it and both agreed that she might have walked to the bus stop, which was weird of her to do. As we walked the dirt path, in a fast pace toward the bus stop, I could see the worried look in my friend’s face. I felt like my face looked just like hers. We walked silently on the path with only the burning sun on our backs and only the sounds of rocks being kicked and cars passing by. I could smell the scent of freshly cut grass as we walked past the fields to our right.

Once we got to the first stop we quickly asked people if they had seen Mary. They told us they hadn’t seen her past them. I was quickly getting worried and frustrated. I could feel my heart pound deep in my chest knowing the bus would be coming soon. We both decided to walk to the second stop. We quickly walked on the pavement that leads right to the bus stop in front of Walgreens. When we got to the bus stop we still didn’t see her. We were now getting too worried and with the bus quickly approaching, we took a chance and decided to check the bus and see if she had gotten on. When the bus approached I quickly got on the bus and as searched the bus for the familiar face all I could see was a bunch of strangers, some familiar classmates’ faces, and the low murmurs of the people. I quickly got off the bus and my friend and I quickly walked back to the school.

I’m not sure if it was the walking or the worried, knot feeling in my stomach, but my heart started to beat faster than I could ever have imagined. We walked once again on the pavement and back again on the dirt path that lead back to school. Right as we both walked into the courtyard, reassuringly, there was Mary talking to her friend. I yelled “Mary where have you been. We need to leave. Now!” But as I looked into her eyes I could tell that her eyes were just as worried and terrified as mine had been just a few moments ago. She told that someone had turned her in to the nurse that she had been hurting herself. Right then my heart dropped. I felt like I could just lose it all then, but instead I kept a composed face. Only a couple or months ago I had found that that had happened and told her to promise me that she would never do that again and I would never tell, but she didn’t and I felt so guilty. I could feel the panic and a hot tear in the corner of my eye, but I quickly wiped it away. I needed to do whatever I could.

We walked to the nurse’s office where she explained what had happened. Right then a team of paramedics, doctors and police officers walked in the tight, cramped room and took my sister in an even smaller room and started to ask her questions. They closed the door for some privacy, but still asked me to walk into the hallway. The janitor was mopping the floor and there was a hint of lemon in the air. The school counselor explained to me again what was happening. I just nodded trying to understand how I would tell my mom. Then the nurse asked me to come into her office once again. She told me that they were going to take Mary to the UNM Hospital and have them evaluate her. “Do you have a way of contacting your mother, because the number I have isn’t in-service?” the nurse asked me impatient. I told her that my mom couldn’t find her phone and she was at UNM studying, but I didn’t know which library it was. As I talked frustrated on the phone trying to locate the room my mom was in. When I finally did reach the right room, which took almost five minutes, they said I had just missed her. I told them thank you for the help and hung up angrily. I felt like my heart could explode right there and then.

The school sub-police officer came up and told me that they were going to take Mary to the hospital; I could feel that burn in my throat waiting to start crying my eyes out. I told him where my mom would be and he said very kindly, unlike the nurse, that he would take me to go get her, considering she didn’t know what was going on and she didn’t have a car. As I walked with the police officer to his car, I could see in the corner of my eye the kids laughing wondering if my sister would ever laugh like they were right then and there. We reached his cruiser and he held the back door open, waiting for me to get in. He told me that we would leave in a minute he just had to make a call. Once he shut the door, I gave in and decided to start crying as hard as I could before we reached my mom, because I knew I would have to be the strongest person I was capable of being for her sakes.

A few moments later I heard the police officer walking around and wiped away the tears. We pulled out of the school parking lot and as I looked back I wondered if that one of those days that was supposed to be great was meant to end that way. I knew that deep down that this was only the beginning of my day and that the future ahead would only be tougher and rougher. As we drove down 4^th Street I was getting anxious and that knot in my stomach that I thought was gone grew tighter as I waited to explain the one thing in my mom’s life that would bring so much pain upon her.

As I sat on the plastic seat I could feel that heavy burden on my chest but knew I needed to not be only strong for me but my sister as well as my mom. The cars and building passed by but I saw nothing, thinking of the bath in front of me.